The basketball world was turned upside-down this season after Dallas Mavericks franchise player Luka Doncic was traded late at night to the Los Angeles Lakers. The shock that this happened without any leaks or rumors of him being available on the market made the Shams bomb so surprising that the only logical answer was a hacked account. Alas, the trade was very real, and Doncic and his “fat ass” (according to the General Manager) were on their way to LA. Recently, more and more teams have revealed what they were willing to give up in a potential Luka trade. Here is the breakdown of some of these almost deals.
| Dallas Trades: | Charlotte Trades: |
| Luka Doncic | LaMelo Ball |
| Every Future Draft Pick They Would’ve Ruined Anyway | |
| Cam Newton MVP Trophy | |
| …Taj Gibson??? |
The Hornets are not in the best bargaining position. They have one All Star player that can’t stay healthy and his dad is annoying. To give the franchise an actual Superstar, the team was willing to get rid of said All Star as well as every single future draft pick they currently have, as those players were not going to be successful there anyway. This is not close to being enough, so the team was able to acquire the rights to Cam Newton’s MVP trophy to use as a sweetener to the deal. Dallas fans had not seen a Quarterback capable of winning MVP ever so this will appease them as their favorite player is sent to Charlotte. And since the Dallas GM cares about defense Taj Gibson is here because I guess he is still playing.
| Dallas Trades: | New York Trades: |
| Luka Doncic | Tom Thibodeau |
| Mitchell Robinson | |
| Season 3 of Severance |
Defense defense defense. That’s the motto of the Mavericks GM and was the main focal point of making the Doncic trade in the first place (and definitely not because the new owners didn’t want to pay him the supermax.) With this package from the Knicks, the Mavs would have gotten one of the best defensive minded coaches in the league in Tom Thibodeau and a big rim protector in Mitchell Robinson. Of course, Thibs has since been fired, and Mitchell Robinson has since been injured again. But the crown jewel of the trade is what Ben Stiller is willing to bring: the third season of Severance. Stiller had mentioned in the past that he would hold the season hostage until the Knicks won a championship, however he would likely be willing to let the rights go to Dallas in exchange for Doncic. Had this gone through, the Knicks would become the most exciting second round exit since the Embiid Sixers, who still exist.
| Dallas Trades: | Clippers Trade: |
| Luka Doncic | Anthony Davis |
| Markieff Morris | Max Christie |
| Maxi Kleber | 2029 1st (from Lakers) |
The Clippers were in desperate need of acquiring a third Superstar, so here they’re willing to- wait, this is what the Lakers trade was. How did th-…oh no. Steve Ballmer has taken the Lakers organization hostage. Everyone stay calm. Just back away slowly and he’ll go back to being aggressively angry at Apple.
| Dallas Trades: | Oklahoma City Trades: |
| Luka Doncic | 2031 2nd (Pick Swap) |
| 2025 1st | |
| 2029 1st | |
| 2031 1st |
Sam Presti you son of a bitch…
The 9 Hole 